30 Things My 20s Taught Me & 30 Things I Hope for in My 30s

The clock is running out on my 20s.

And somewhere between looking through old photos, thinking about the people who came and went, remembering classrooms I once stood in, stages I've held microphones on, flights I've boarded, ships I've called home, countries I've explored, tears I've cried and moments I've laughed until my stomach hurt, one thought keeps hitting me:

I really lived an entire decade.

On September 10, I turn 30.

Thirty.

It's strange because I can still see 20-year-old TJ so clearly.

He had plans.

A LOT of plans.

He thought he knew exactly how life was supposed to go. Graduate. Build a career. Find his people. Fall in love. Become successful. Have everything figured out by 30.

Cute.

Life had other plans.

If you had shown 20-year-old me a picture of my life today, I'm not sure he would've believed you.

"Wait… we're doing WHAT?"

Somewhere along the way, the carefully drawn map got thrown out the window.

The classroom became a photography studio.

The photography studio led to new opportunities.

A microphone found its way into my hand.

Home stopped being just an address.

Airports became familiar.

My passport collected stamps.

And eventually, I found myself standing aboard cruise ships, looking out at oceans and cities I once only saw in pictures, entertaining people from around the world and chasing a dream I didn't even know I was allowed to have when this decade began.

But the pictures only tell part of the story.

Because my 20s weren't just sunsets, ships, flights, celebrations and smiling photos.

There were nights I questioned everything.

There were friendships I thought would last forever that didn't.

People I would've crossed oceans for who wouldn't have crossed the street for me.

Dreams I had to bury.

Versions of myself I had to let go of.

Goodbyes I wasn't ready for.

Moments when starting over felt terrifying.

Times when I gave too much of myself trying to convince people to choose me.

And days when simply getting through the day was enough of an accomplishment.

My 20s humbled me.

They broke my heart a few times.

They changed my definition of friendship.

They completely rewrote my definition of success.

They taught me that "home" doesn't always have four walls.

Sometimes home is a person.

Sometimes it's a group of people laughing around a table.

Sometimes it's watching the sun disappear into the ocean from the deck of a ship thousands of miles away from everything familiar.

And sometimes home is finally becoming comfortable inside yourself.

That's probably the biggest surprise of turning 30.

I thought I was supposed to arrive here with everything figured out.

Instead, I'm arriving with something better:

I know myself more.

I know what I deserve.

I know what I won't tolerate anymore.

I know that some people are chapters, not permanent characters.

I know that changing direction isn't failure.

I know that protecting my peace is worth the occasional misunderstanding.

I know that there are still places on this planet I haven't seen, people I haven't met, rooms I haven't walked into, microphones I haven't held, dreams I haven't dreamed yet and versions of TJ I haven't become.

And maybe that's what makes turning 30 feel less like an ending and more like standing at the edge of something enormous.

So before midnight strikes on my 20s and I turn the page to Chapter 30, I want to give this decade the goodbye it deserves.

Not because everything went according to plan.

But because it didn't.

And somehow, the detours gave me a life far more interesting than the one 20-year-old TJ had planned.

These are 30 things my 20s taught me—and 30 things I hope to carry, find, build, experience and become in my 30s.